Die Hard Questions..."What are your thoughts McClain?"..."yippie-ki-yay motherfucker."

I'm scared of it all.
I'm not the girl i used to be.
I am lost in this sinking rock feeling.
Sometimes his eyes make me want to cry.
why is beyond the mind of me.

i want tears to stream down my cheeks,
get tangled in my lashes,
burn down my skin.

I trust and get hurt.
I hurt deep in my gushing, pumping chest.
I'm getting aches in my stomach.
I want to throw up.
I don't want to eat.
I want to scream and fight.
I want to cry.

When things start falling down, who will be there to catch me?
Who will be there is my lover is gone and my friends are
too selfish
or blind
or high
to help me?
I can help everone else when they fall.
I can hold the weight of the world on my shoulders.
But if i fall now...
I will hit the ground and shatter.
Butterflies will hit my face as i fall and try to give me their false hopes.
They will make me think that i am flying.

Realization will only come with the crashing of my face agianst the tar.

My mind is overloaded and full of hot water
and i am teatering on the bow of my boat.
I need to spout an ocean of tears.

How am i going to cry when i shatter.
My eyes will lay opposite sides of a room;
Watching peices of my heart melt into the gravel and stones...

... For now the sloshing noise in my skull is driving me INSANE.
I need to IMPLODE.
I need to KNOW
...when?
I NEED to KNOW
...why?
I need a flood to
SET
ME
OFF.